There are two ways to love and honor women. From your greatness and from your smallness.
In my practice I meet many men who leave behind the stereotype of the tough, aggressive, competitive, unemotional man and have the courage to open up to their softness and vulnerability. They learn to love the feminine within themselves, in life and of course in woman. That’s all great. But unfortunately feminism has led these men to feel guilty about their masculine power. It is often these gentle men, who love women as a little boy. They hold doors open, kiss, flatter, compliment, seduce and love not from their masculine power, but from the dependent boy. They unconsciously seek recognition from a mommy. They are insecure and want to see their masculinity confirmed in the feminine.
If you read this you might think you do not. But look again, because it happens very subtle and women (unconsciously) feel this. It directly determines how far she can open up to you.
The intuitive wisdom of a woman opens as far as the man with whom she is can handle. That means that if your wife no longer wants sex with you, this probably has to do with the extent to which you are able to open her up.
If a man loves me as the little boy, I always see the image of a little boy hanging on his mother’s skirt. “Look mama how I’m holding the door open for you. Do you love me now?”
This is not pure. This means that the intention of your action does not match your unconscious desire. For example, you act like you want to please her as a grown man but in fact you are looking for comfort for the emptiness and lack of self-love. It’s wonderful when a man holds the door open for me, but it is important how he carries himself in it.
When a man acts like a little boy, primarily I tend to push him away from me. This is the fiery power of women, a direct mirror that invites you to come into your male center again. That’s why I always say: “Use her rejection as a means to your growth as a man.” Every woman has the potential to initiate a man into sacred love-making. Provided that she uses her intuitive wisdom lovingly.
This does not mean that the little boy deserves no comfort. Certainly he does! I love to take you in my arms, caressing your face and tell you stories about true love. But to receive this healing for the little boy, it is necessary that you “own your shit!!!”. That means that you’re aware of your neediness and dependence on women and that you acknowledge the pain of the rejection of your mother. Don’t worry: every man and every woman carries within them a little boy or a little girl. It is only through acknowledging this, we can start our journey to true maturity. And only then can the healing love of a woman actually be received.
So I challenge you the next time you meet with a woman, honestly look at your motives to make love to her. If you want to please her, ask yourself again: do I really want to? What do I really need? Maybe you find out that you actually want to be cradled in her arms, as she sings a song for you. Be honest. Share what you feel, what you desire, what you fear and dare to ask for what you really need.
And if it’s too much to do this ‘in real life’, I would love to receive you in a safe space to practice with deep, true intimacy with me and yourself. Here’s a love song for you to start with!
Please share about your challenges with woman in the comment box below. I would love to help you out!
And if this was inspiring for you, be courageously vulnerable and share it with your friends! 😉
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